I Resolve Not to Resolve

Resolutions.  Goals.  To Do Lists.  Planners.  Dreams.

Its that time again when people make promises to themselves in an attempt to make their lives/self better.  Unfortunately, not all succeed.  And in turn, feel worse about themselves.  Then people get it stuck in their head that they have to wait till next January 1st  to try again. 

Why do we have to wait? 

The are things I want to do or be; and put off year after year.  This year (now less than an hours left) I decided; I was not waiting for a publicly designated day to make changes in my life. 

I did set off on this path earlier this year, but have only been able to give my commute time to it.  So a few weeks ago I started actively working more and more while opening up to others what I am doing.  I am not one to let others in.

I even spent almost 2 hours today, going from store to store to purchase a necessary tool for my work.  I found finally found it.  I also have 2 people offering to help me. 

My advice, don't let the closing year and a bottle of champagne convince you to set deadlines on your happiness or well-being.  Just like we should carry Christmas in our hearts every day.  We should wake up every morning with the belief and confidence that we can make life changes and/or start or re-start good habits as needed.

Never Again Poem

2011 April PAD Challenge Day 10




What I’ll miss

Never again shall I see

a blood red moon

touch a sapphire sea

or on a crisp night

hear chirps sweetly sung

as earthly colors orange and brown

are chaotically flung

Never again into your eyes shall I stare

melt under warm lips

run fingers through your hair

I smile and whimper inside

as I say my last goodbyes

to a world so enchanted

A world I took for granted

Time Poem

2011 April PAD Challenge: Day 9

4:19 a.m.

Not sure how long

I’ve been tossing

I know it makes him stir

I’m awake

My mind reeling

Something’s there

A spark

A thought

A start

Need to write it down

Before it seeps away

Into the darkness

Of a too early morn

I don’t want to interrupt his slumber

Less than an hour till the alarm

Hopping repetition and retention

Will keep these words with me

As I stray along the silence

Losing knowingness

Waiting to wake 

Ready to celebrate poem

2011 April PAD Challenge: Day 8

Looking forward to

One semester till the first 8^th grade graduation

Sweet 16’s on the horizon

Cars and graduating high school

College

Marriage?

Grandchildren

Hope the celebrations never end

Special Evening

Butterflies in my stomach

Anticipation in my fingertips

Watching the long minutes

Slowly tick the hours by

My mind is racing

I laid out my dress

My jewelry and shoes

Prepped my smaller purse

One thing not worked out

As I mentally see styles of my hair

Maybe I should not wear mascara

What if I cry

Remembering what led to this

Happy tears could downpour

and run

Did I check my stockings

After a while my head swims

While the room spins

Everyone is happy and dancing

Getting tired

My feet will ache

I won’t want the night to end

But first

I must finish the work on my desk

1 hour till I leave

4 hours till I arrive

What if Poem

2011 April PAD Challenge: Day 7

What if it’s the end?

Trees topple over, uprooted
and the ground unfastens
swallowing up houses and parks
Towers turn to rubble on the streets
The seas invade the land, as if to wash it all away
Dust blocks the sun, now nothing will grow
What if Mother Earth turned against us?
Would it be our end?

Don't (blank), (blank) Poem

2011 April PAD Challenge: Day 6

Don’t settle, hold out for

Don’t give in because it’s easier
Don’t be accepting because 
it’s as close as you think you can get
Your dreams are not out of reach,
they are attainable 
If you are not getting out, what you put in
If it leaves you wanting, and your heart waning 
Then realize, it’s not enough
Be fulfilled
Be over-satisfied
Why settle for passable
When life can be rewarding 

Serious or Goofy Poem

2011 April PAD Challenge Day 5

It's National Poetry Month

Delusion

dry

and tan

endless sand

salt

on my lips

a painful kiss

burnt

from the inside

drowning in low tide

stop

why fight

misconception in spite

lost

within me

your void, my desert sea

Difficult Choice

The purple highlighter or the blue?

What’s the difference?

If you only knew

Why not ask ~ the bison or the hen?

Even upside down

Truth inks from my pen.

     The Purple

     In the purple

     once was I

     on a hilltop  

     kissing the sky

     Somehow I fell

     back in the now

     I’ll search forever

     till I have found

     That sweetest spot

     where warm snow falls

     rest my head on a cloud

  the purple calls 

Type of Person Poem

2011 April PAD Challenge Day 4

It's National Poetry Month

Man of the House

Lives with three women; teenagers are two

Patient, thoughtful, likes to shoot pool

He’s the conqueror of spiders and bugs

The provider of my most essential hugs

A creative chef with a frying pan

A DIY mechanic & handyman

Co-housekeeper and coupon clipper

A fisherman at heart, seldom time for a day tripper

To cast out his flies

A man sensitive and wise

The man of the house

Is the man of my heart

Imagine the world without you Poem

2011 April PAD Challenge Day 3

It's National Poetry Month

Would be ~If not for me


My love would be alone, dreaming of me
Or would he find a lesser substitute
Of what he envisions, I would be

Without my girls, the would miss
Never know their laughs, songs and smiles
And their futures would not exist

Kindred souls ~ never synced
Lifelong friendships never met
Would they burn for the missing link

Family firsts would never be mine
Only child, marriage, great-grandchildren
Never born, my family denied

Postcards

2011 April PAD Challenge Day 2

It's National Poetry Month

Wish you were here

Made it safe and sound

Saw some sights and grabbed a bite

The girls are having a blast

Going to sleep now

Busy day tomorrow

Glad this trip won't last

I miss you too much

With Love,
I've only just arrived

And though it's not for long

My heart is already aching 

Being away from you is wrong

Jersey Shore

The is sun is bright 

as I relax on the sand
I won't stay long, 
I'll burn instead of tan

I'm addicted to skee-ball 
and funnel cake
And the sky ride down the boardwalk 
is great

There's something missing here
There a certain "glam" on TV 
Well if "reality" cant be trusted
I'll have to start watching Glee

What got me here Poem

2011 April PAD Challenge Day 1

It's National Poetry Month

Becoming Me

Years of dreaming ~ making believe
Envisioning what the future would be
Years of chasing those dreams, but all wrong
Ended up sacrificing them for a love song
Years later that song was worn and outdated
And life all around seemed ill-fated
Started with the innermost recesses and worked outward
I took stock and toil over of my own accord

Years of study and self reflection
Led to making personal corrections
Years spent in near solitude
The changes I have made include
Loving thy self, opening my eyes
Setting the bar higher for the next guy
Deciding who I want to be
Making the decisions best for me

Years number two since my love I found
He exceeds the bar and together we are sound
Nourishing my dreams, feeding my soul
Now I have a place, I have found my role
Confident again to use words to express
The anger, sorrow and pain I oppressed
The years that have passed establish in me
The writer I hope for years to be

The Noise that Woke Me

WednesdayPoetryPrompts

There are creeks and snaps all around
like crickets singing on a warm night
Louder sporadic cracks are near
as wood popping on the hearth
A soft sizzle in the background begins
with no sign of diminishing, it slowly swells
The lulling symphony is disrupted when
a thunderous blast hits the far end of the roof
It crescendos, moving closer from overhead
the white noise of the water blinds the fire into silence

In the Spring

WednesdayPoetryPrompts

In the morning birds and squirrels quarrel

A hum hangs in the air as growing grass is trimmed

Children run, ride skip; wild in the street

Knees are dark and damp

Hands are sore from working the soil

Legs and arms ache after raking and sweeping away

Last Falls remembrance

Sweaty and dirty, but satisfied, true beauty shines

Yards are once again orderly and embellished with color

The fresh greens were merely a canvas

The children have run home, their stomachs calling

Birds sing amiably cheering on the success of the day

and the bountiful, fruitful rewards we will reap

Fun with technology

To tweet or not to tweet, I suppose a lot of people have already posed this question.  Becoming a new tweeter yesterday, the words carelessly came to me.  Followed by a thought to Blog ~

I think I might have found time to Blog (another "new" in my life, blogging).  Every Tuesday night I sit in a parking lot waiting for my daughter to finish dance rehearsal.  A perfect time to compose thoughts and blog, hopefully for your reading pleasure. 

It seems to me that new technology enters our family around Christmas, especially the past few years.  It started when the children received a Gameboy, to share.  When that broke I bought them each a DS lite.  Then came the Wii.  When one of the DS’s broke, they got DSi’s and I got the surviving DS lite.  This year one child got an iPod, the other the Novel e-reader and because my phone started to act poorly, my wonderful boyfriend bought me a Windows 7 Phone.  The Windows Phone is very cool, I feel like I have a little computer on me at all times.  We have a lot of fun with it.  Every time someone asks , “What was that actors name?”, or “Who sings this song?”,  where or when, I pullout my phone and put everyone’s mind to rest. 

I write this because I am driving on the Parkway, to that parking lot to wait for my daughter, dictating this post to my phone.  So not only is my phone, a phone, my social hub, calendar, alarm clock, Rand McNally, mobile computer, camera and iPod (it hold so much more music than my $20 MP3), it is my “tape recorder.”  You should know in NJ it is illegal to talk, type, tweet, FB, MySpace; in short communicate with others while driving.  And even though this will become a post on my blog for others to read, at this moment, I am driving and talking to myself.  Years before even basic mobile phones were thought as common; people would commute to work with a tape recorder in the passenger seat, dictating letters, speeches, and even closing arguments.  That is my loop hole, I am not communicating with anyone. 

My phone also has voice to text.  As I speak it types to an email, message, tweet or memo.  The only problem is, I find I can’t give it more than 5 words at a time.  And since the Windows Phones does not have copy and paste, I would still have to retype everything.  So I am dictating to Pocket Recorder. 

I started out talking about Twitter.  The company I work for recently joined Twitter and I decided to break down and join the masses.  I also started following some of my favorite bands; Disturbed, Evanescence and Skillet.  I also looked up Poet Robert Lee Brewer, a member of my Face Book who also posts to follow him on Twitter.  Now I go back to the home page and there are 20-40 tweets I don’t have time to read.  The top 3 are from Robert lee Brewer, 2 minutes ago, 4 minutes ago and 6 minutes ago.  I logged out of twitter.  Later I checked again and there were umpteen more tweets, most of them links to other things to read.  Even my own company was posting links.  And the bands we re-tweeting posts from their fans.  I didn’t even know you could “re-tweet”.  Again I logged off.  I think tomorrow I will un-follow the bands and start myself off slowly with just my company and the poet.

And thus I became a Tweeter. Hopefully I will find something to blog about next week that will not include my misadventures with social networks or my phone.

Deb